Random thoughts and babbles while having allergies


Well last night wasn’t fun. Like so many I have allergies. Woke up in the morning with congestion which moved on to a half head of pressure, then pain, nausea, light and sound sensitivity and lethargy. Made me not want to do much. Then when I finally gave in and took an allergy pill before bed, while the mind would not shut down! Lots of very weird and funky stuff would not stop till I got up and wrote them down. Here is what goes on in the mind of the Mad Writer when she can’t sleep.

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First a really bad poem

Summertime
sniffles abound
Alergies to what
Everything it seems

Restless
Can’t sleep
sun up too long
missing long cool nights
Can’t wait for fall

Lying in bed
pain in my head
tasting alergies
go to sleep you said

Wishing it was easy
only slightly less weezy
meds aren’t even helping
making me too cheesy

###

Then this dribble

Bloody Annoying

I told him back off, leave me alone. If he had listened then I wouldn’t be watching as his blood pooled beneath him. Never say I am doing nothing and to make you a sandwich when I am writing. Really, just get up and do it yourself, stupid. Sorry dear.

###

Then some various story ideas. From this one I am gonna call Zombies, Viruses and Mad Men

***

It’s been ten years since everything collapsed. The old world ended pretty messily.
There were monsters of mankind’s making, both living and dead. Things were pretty bad for a long time, but nothing can last forever.

While the big cities had turned into wastelands or war zones, there were still places out in the world that were barely touched by the madness that had descended. Places that had been hidden so well that they looked like a part of the natural world around them. There were pocket valleys high in the mountains or small islands shrouded by mist on the big lakes. Small enclaves deep into the desserts where few went and even underground caverns that held groups who knew how to hide.

When what ever it was that animated the dead ran out, bodies covered the streets and fields where humanity used to be the thickest. Then came the year of disease. Those who had not succumbed to the viruses let loose by the governments and those thinking they would overthrow those governments changed. There were good, bad and truly evil left, but the numbers of humans dropped from seven billion to just under a million world wide.

I imagine there were places never touched by the plagues, places that the militias hadn’t risen or that the mafias hadn’t taken. I was young when it all went down, a mere child if you want the truth. Recounting how I survived the city after my mother had hidden me away before she had been taken by the gang is another tale, one I try not to remember. It took me a long few weeks to get past the men with guns during the day and the monsters at night.

Before it collapsed there were all kinds of theories. The most popular was of course the whole zombie/virus thing. So many thought they could just blow the heads off and they would survive.

###

To the beginnings of a possible YA story

***

I wanted to be a good daughter and support my parents, but the idea of switching school into a private academy one hundred miles from all my friends was bad enough. Being forced into wearing a uniform with knee socks and a little skirt? Well let me tell you I argued with my parents.

“Mom, come one! This is ridiculous!”

My mom just smile and shook her head. “It isn’t ridiculous persay, sweet heart.”

I tolled my eyes as I tried to tug the skirt down to show less leg. “Really, Mom? You would have never wore this…this!”

My mother chuckled even more before reaching behind me. “Well, I wouldn’t know about that.” She opened what I thought was just some boring old book and turned it toward me. “Open up to page 65, Sara.”

Out of curiosity I did and I swear my eyes near popped out of my head. There in living color was a picture of a much younger version of my mother dressed in the same uniform. She wore it with more style than I thought she had. I mean come on this is my mom. She usually was found dressed in jeans and a tshirt, yet she made that uniform look like something straight out of my favorite manga.

###

You never know what might come out of my head at night. There was another bit but I dont share erotic content. Nope I write it down and sell it! Now here is hoping one of those two story bits turns into something more than a few paragraphs in a folder. Back to the salt mines

 

Poetry from collections


As I have written a lot of poetry I thought it was time to share some more with you wonderful readers. I have been sharing poems this week on my various blogs and decided to do put up poems from various collections here. From a multi-author anthology to my own personal collections, here are some glimpses into how my mind works.

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This first poem is from the anthology Reflections of the End.

Smoke Tree

Beneath the smoke tree I sit
Looking over what is left
Once the world was green
filled with promise and dreams

But then they came from above
on wings of fire and darkness
burning away the life we knew
nothing could stand strong

I watched it all from here
And I changed as I did
The fire did not touch me
It seems nothing about me burned

Yet now I sit here
beneath the smoke tree
how cuold I be still here
When the world about me is gone

Nothing lives around me
They destroyed it all it seems
and now I come to realize
that I am smoke too

###

Here is a poem from my collection, Generations of Love

Zoo

It was so hot
the sun beating down
as she dragged us around
from Camels to Polar bears

But how could we say no?
How would we say stop?
Her little face alight
laughter echoing in the air

The joy on her face
matched the wonder on yours
a father long denied
with his baby at the zoo

###

This poem is from the collection, Love, Loss and Lonliness

A song in the distance

Distance
between you and I
between love and life
music bridges the gap

A song
reminding me of you
bringing you close
behind my closed eyes

###

This poem is from the collection, Random Musing of a Poetic mind

butterfly

I let you go
to find your heart with someone else
and I smile when I remember
the times we were so close

A truer friend
you’ll never find
but you needed so much more
and so I set you free

Now I look to the sky
and I hope someday
you will return to me
my butterfly

###

And this piece is from my collection, Seasons of my Mind

Leaves

Green leaves,
flowing down the trees,
vines wrapping tight,
like many arms about the trunk.

Soft, dappled light,
animals scurry by,
I lie back,
and stare up through the leaves.

###

And finally this poem is from my erotic short story and poetry collection, Distance Means Little to Love

Beginnings

A word in the dark,
A distant touch,
I barely know you,
Yet I know you so well.

You reached out a hand,
Lifted up my soul,
With your soft words,
You’ve stolen my heart!

###

I hope you have enjoyed the variety of poems I have shared this week.

S, T, U more poetry by the letters


Wow this has moved forward quickly hasn’t it? Once I finish I will probably roll back around and see what I can do.

Sails

White sails,
flying across the sky,
bring my love to me,
from across the sea.

Is the sea there,
or just a sea of snow?
I don’t care which,
if you can fly him to me.
***

Tiger Kitten ©2006

Once a little kitten
now a strong tiger you are
lashing out when annoyed
so very often lately

Once a happy playful kitten
open as the sky
now the master of sarcasm
with claws you rarely hide

Angry at times for reason
others for none at all
relax lady tiger
you will always have your home

Defensive of your family
yet fighting them all the time
try a little peace my kitten
everything is all right

***

Understanding

Do you understand

understand how I feel

understand what you do

understand my reality

 

Am I a game

or an ego boost

Am I just a tool

to relieve 

Does my pain

mean more than discomfort

Is my love

more than a laugh

© 1998

How about something different? Or Acrostic poems on photos


As I stated in another of my blogs out there I am more than a writer of stories, I am also a photographer and a poet. One of the things I decided to do was to combine those two art forms together for something different and pretty.

Doing research I found that there are a lot of other forms of short poetry out there. Here I have taken some of the acrostic poems I have written and placed them onto some of my photographs. Acrostic poems are simply poems where the first letter of each line spells out a word. I tossed of a few short ones that I hope you will like. Linked with photographs that I have taken I think they are lovely images for a cool afternoon.

summer-acrostic-poem alone-acrostic-poem forever-acrostic-poem red-acrsotic-poem

Four different poems with four different images. They are simple yet fun to do. Try doing this when you are stuck on a story you are writing. Sometimes poetry can break a block, and it does not have to be deep, just a moment of your time can give something lovely to the world.

It is out and ready for purchase!


What you ask?  Well that is Dark Minds.  This is one of the anthologies I was requested to submit a story to.  Yes I didn’t submit and pray I was actually asked!  And if that was not cool enough then I was asked to do an internal image for my story.  I love that.  Now the lovely blurb on this book refers to fantasy..and guess what..that one is me.  Most of the anthology is wonderful dark horror style stories but well we all know I don’t really write horror that well yet so i was so happy that the editor, David Monk, wanted me story.

Now if you want a copy of this story you need to go here

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1484839161

41qAt9KFyQL  Come and try it out folks.  There are so really good stories in this collection!

 

On other fronts I seem to be almost done the poetry collection Generations of Love and oh my has it effected me.  While my other collections are of course personal they are not so much about me and my family.  I have dredged up things I have been afraid to think about.   A lot of tears went into this book and it needs a few more tweeks before I release it for reading . The images are actual photos of my family in there.

 

OH joy now I remember


Okay I now remember what the problem with doing a poetry book is.  Getting your formatting to carry over into the publication software the way you want!.  I have the documents on the two finished books all nicely set up, the cover done, the images sized correctly but when I went to publish them…oh my god all the formatting went POOF!…now the last time I fought my way through Amazon and through Smashwords, so this time I thought I would use draft2digital.  I have had very little trouble with the books I put up there all ready.  Just little niggling things that were easily fixed.  I have had a very nice experience there and I do plan on continuing to use them…but DAMN.  Poetry by its very style needs to be done a certain way.  Other than the first poem, all of the titles got mushed into their poem and all the spacing…gone!  My poems are usually three groups of four lines..just how i write…having them show up at a long list with no spacing between stanzas..not right.  And on the second book all the page breaks disappeared.  I went from 32 pages to four!…yeah no.  Hopefully the tech guys can tell me what happened.  They arent on till Monday but like all authors I am crazy about wanting it fixed NOW….okay I am not that bad but damn I had hoped to have them released this weekend.

As for Guardians…cover is being worked on today.  Once it is done I will set up that file and we should have a nice collection…I hope.  I really hope people decide to buy this one.  Sudden Disappearances is the longest of the Harry stories and has all kinds of surprises!

Today if I am a good doobie I should get some writing finished.  I have a lot of partial poems for the Generations of Love collection to complete, I have the wip short stories to do and then I really should find out if the two shorts i wrote for the magazine will see the light of day before the end of summer.

I need to make covers!


As of right now I have two completed poetry and photography collections and one short story collection.  All three of them need covers before I can put them up for sale.  I hadn’t planned on working on them today as it is my third wedding anniversary but why not?  When I sat down to my computer I thought just check the mail but then of course I started working.  Silly me!

Not that I should complain.  I finished up the photos for the two collections.  I hope they fit better than some of the ones from Love, Loss and Loneliness did.  I added some little bits into Seasons of my Mind.  Sort paragraphs and pages that switch from season to season.  I think it looks nice and clean.  Having the two new poems that I wrote yesterday actually filled it in nicely.  Now neither of these poetry books are a ton of pages.  Seasons comes to 33 pages with the added stuff and Random musings of a Poetic Mind comes to 32.  As I said they are both short but I don’t plan on charging as much as I did for LLL.  Probably got with $1.99 for Seasons and $2.99 for Random.  Why the price difference for basically the same number of pages?  You actually get more poetry and images in Random.

Now the third poetry collection, Generations of Love is still being written.  At the moment I only have 12 poems for this intensely personal collection.  I have the beginnings of some essays that will be typed up and put in.  If and this is a big if, if I can get myself to type them.  The feelings behind the Generations poems are intensely personal and are about how I felt being a daughter, grand daughter and mother.  Someday I will be a grandmother and I just might ruminate on that too.  Heck I could include the feelings I have from being a little sister.  I am just not sure.    While these books may never sell a copy I still feel like getting them out there to the world is a good idea.

Now I need to get myself in gear tomorrow and actually finish up Blackbird.  I am still tossing back and forth between submitting to an anthology or just putting it out myself.  It follows nicely in the feel of my free story A Bargain Made with Fur.  Though to be honest I just might take it down and sell it.  I have no idea.  Not that I need too many more ideas at this time right?

Decisions decisions


Now that my wonderful sweet hubby got me a new memory card I can go and work on the images for the poetry books I planned.  Only one problem, I am not sure what to do!  While Love, Loss and Loneliness was a book of emotional poems i could use images of flowers easily.  The next one Random poetic musings on me (yes the title keeps changing) the poems are not the same type of emotional pieces.  They deal with things I see in my world and that is where it gets confusing.  I have some of my flower photos in there, some other images that fit the poems but things like Ragged and Scars are a little harder to decide what to use.  While I have ideas I am to sure the images would be all that great.  I take great photos of the world around me but this is more of the world within me.  For this first of the three books I have planned I need ten more images.  I am just not sure what to take.

It got so confusing that I decided I would work on the other two books at the same time.  Now one is Seasons of my Mind.  Poetry that has a seasonal flair.  The poems are broken down in to the four seasons.  I need three more images and with this book i thought I would do some short little essays as well.  Just random mutterings like i do here but to help explain the poems and the effect the seasons have on me.  The poetry like all the poetry I have written, comes from different points in my life over the past two decades.  I might just finish this one first…who knows.  Not as many poems but with the essays it should make a nice little chapbook for readers.

Now the third one is Generations of Love.  Hard to belief with all the years of being a parent, daughter and granddaughter that I have less of these than any other.  But the reason is that things like the feelings I have for my family are harder for me to put out.  I write a lot as my readers know but poetry was not something I had any confidence in.  The whole process is quite raw and scary and this book is the most scary being about those people who are closest to my heart.  While I hope my children know how much I adore them I have a feeling they don’t know how much they have both damaged and uplifted me.  While the man in your life is a wonder and a gift, your children are literally an extension of your soul.  At times I think the lack of contact I have been experiencing with my two oldest is a type of punishment for my not being the best daughter and granddaughter or even daughter in law.

These books will be hard for me to publish but i am determined to do so.  While my short stories and novels are the children of my mind, these are the children of my heart.

Another rainy Monday


Yup it rained and will rain more today.  I got some photos, and now I have to sit my butt down and work on matching photos to poems for my next collection.  Now i could just put in lovely images of flowers but I did that last time.  This time I want to be a bit different.  The images should convey what the poem is about right?  Well we will see.  With the clouds and the sun that breaks through from time to time it is a day to reflect.

Music, tea, photos and poems.  Can make for a good day or a sad one.  Just not sure.  The rain washed away the dirt and pollen but t the moment the world looks a bit washed out to me.  Later this week the vibrant will be back and wonder will cover us all.f0404464  Just a little image of some tadpoles for today.  Normally I throw all my photos over on Window of my Mind but I thought this was kinda sweet.  My daughter took this on a walk we took together.  We have to remember no matter what else that happens in our life that the world continues to bring new life into being.  Simple little things that make you smile if you look for them.

I don’t know why I am introspective today but we all need days like this to clear out our minds.

Maybe this is what I need

 

Clarify your thoughts

Clarify
keep the words simple
tell the truth
for it will come out in the end

Keeping secrets
can lead to more pain
than the truth you hide
pain we both feel

Think deep
look inside
tell  yourself what is true
clarify your thoughts

 

Editing and formatting…or oy my head


While the writing part of my job is fun and confusing it is the editing and formatting that truly drives me nuts.  Once you have your immortal words down on the computer screen/notebook you have to go through and fix all your booboos.  In my case typos need to be fixed.  I think faster than I type, yes that is possible.

Like all authors  I could go through and edit my work into nothing but I try to stop at a point.  Yes it would be great to be able to afford a prereader and a proof reader and an editor but I still haven’t reached that point in the wild world of writing.  When the average price I have found so far is $300 or more, well it puts it way out of my price range.  Someday when I actually make money at this all my early works will get the professional treatment but for now I just have to do what I can right?

Now last night I took all the Harry stories and put them into one file.  This morning I ran the spell and edit checker on them and made sure the formatting was okay.  I plan on putting little commentary bits before each tale for those who have not read these tales.  As a book it comes to about 95K, which makes it my second largest book.  Hopefully having a full collection will boost sales.    The final tale in that collection is an exclusive story that will not be put up for sale separately.

Once I get that part done I will have to come up with a really good cover that will work for both the ebook and paperback version.  Yes this well be in paperback for those of you who want it.

The other thing I have been doing is sorting through my over 300 poems and making a new collection.  This one will not be quite as big as Love, Loss and Loneliness.  I went with less poetry so that I can price it lower.  I plan on sorting through my images and putting in things that will hopefully be a good match for these poems.  Unlike the last book these are less emotional and more pondering or musing.  I write a lot of different things as my readers know.  I have not decided yet if I will change the images to black and white though.  If i do it will be because in a paperback it is cheaper than a full color book.

I have tried in the past few days to write some new poems for another collection.  While the one I have compiled contains mostly musings on the world, the other two I have in progress are about the seasons and about family.  Generations of Love so far has twelve poems about daughters, mothers and grandmothers.  Yes all female but that is my family.  While I have nephews I have no sons.  Writing about my kids is very personal and I hope inspirational to those who will read them some day.

Yes I am still working on short stories at the moment.  Blackbird is about two thirds done and hopefully I will finish it by the end of the month so it can go into the Writer’s stuff anthology with I Can’t Love you anymore.  Two different stories with romance at their roots.  I Can’t love you is another Death Walks Through short but done in a totally different way.  I will release it as a separate tale a few months after the anthology comes out.  Or I might just hold onto it for the Deaths anthology.  Never know.

It looks like In the Dark will be longer than I first thought.  This tale has barely begun but it has interesting images coming together and it went from just and Urban Fantasy to an after the world Changed tale.  That will probably take it into a new series or at least a different one.

So much to work on and only so much time right?