For the past two days I have gone back and done editing on Traveler and I can say it tires you out. When you have written a longer piece you need to go through to make sure you are keeping the right theme, right character names and right view.
One thing that I have trouble with is putting in enough commas. Unlike most writers who use too many, I don’t use enough of them. I admit it. I write like i talk and I don’t usually do long rambling bits when talking. This can make for sentences that bug the more professional writers out there. While i am great at description and I supposedly have a lyrics yet dark style it is the pacing that gets messed up in my work.
By going back over all 93 pages that I have written so far on Traveler I found a lot of little nitpicky things I had messed up. From a simple typo that I missed to sentences that are definitely too short. What i need now is to sit down and do the WRITING. This novel needs to be finished! I have a good idea where it will be going but getting to that point is the hard part. As you can see by this excerpt I have filled in Ronald’s back story and have given myself a place to spring forward. Just where our heroes will go? Well that is the question right?
Ronald nodded, shakily. “She decided, so she told me as I tried to reach her sisters, that the bright lands above were not where we belonged. That the Great Mother Ansal wanted her to live below, to be her handmaiden and to bring about a new age of wonder and understanding. She stood, kicking away the hand of Rachel as she slid to the side of the dark twisted elf. She kept talking to me, telling me things that I did not need to know. Of how this thing, this Marcal had come to her for the past season, whispering to her in the night and coaxing her to join him below the Earth. She kept telling me what they had done, not paying attention to her sisters at her feet.”
“Did she…” Edana started to ask when he continued.
“But she did not notice Ranea move, I did not see her move till it was too late. She lunged up and thrust her mother’s sword home.” Tears coursed down his pale face as he continued. “She hit her sister’s heart with a single thrust and then died as the black one struck her down with his blade.”
All eyes widened then and there were gasps about him. “It was that action that broke me from the spell holding me and with a scream I attacked the cause of my sorrow. Battling in that cavern, in the blood and darkness I do not know how long it took but in the end I was covered in many wounds but that thing, that child-stealing beast was dead on the floor before me. When I managed to pull myself together I went to my children, my three angels who were covered in blood and death. It was then that I found that Ranea was still alive, if only for a little bit. She whispered the whole of what happened before the men had arrived. Told me of the magic that had seduced and destroyed her sister and of how she and Rachel tried to save her and of the brave men who had fought and most importantly of all just where Ansal had gone.”
He looked up then, eyes harder than agates. “She slipped away as I held her and I could do nothing for them. I lay my daughters out before I headed into the tunnels to find the Great Mother Ansal.” His voice grew hard then. “I searched those tunnels for hours but I did not find any sign of the she bitch. When I finally gave up and returned to the surface I took my children and buried them with their mother.” He slumped down then, looking older than time. “It was then that I vowed I would never give up, that I would be there when Ansal’s curse broke and so I am still here.”
I will finish this novel! I am demanding it of myself. Hopefully by the end of November. Who know?