writing in a mood

Yesterday wasn’t a good day.  Should have been writing and working on my novella right?  Well just didn’t couldn’t get into Harry’s mindset.  Was just too positive.  So I sat down with a notebook and a pen and did the whole flow of consciousness thing.  Now reading back on it it is obvious that I am missing my daughters.  When your children grow up and don’t need you anymore you go through stages of grief just like any other loss in your life.  I miss my girls.  Now I might someday write it all down and even more possible I just might publish it.  Books written about actual life to sell but in a way it feels like pandering to my own insecurities to do that.  And yeah I have a ton of those.

Like any writer I crave some feedback, some prove that my words are reaching someone.  I know that the erotic stuff I wrote has found an audience.  Heck a few of those stories have been downloaded over 100,000 times.  And my fanfiction seems popular.  I am still getting people liking Sins of the Father.  I wrote that 15 odd years ago.  Why is it that my totally original stuff seems to get ignored?  Well gets ignored if I charge for it?  I know people downloaded my freebies but did they read them?  Almost 200 downloads on the first book and around 150 on the second.  Which is nice.  But the only review I have had so far is Kaylan’s teacher telling me she wanted more when she borrowed my copy of my paperback.

So the question is should I write nonfiction?  I have had a life that would probably make good reading for some but well…doesn’t feel right.  I could fictionalize it but we all know how hard relieving memories can be.  I have a good life now, even with my occasional deep blue days.  I swear if my head would stop the aching I would have an almost perfect life.  Okay enough crazy babbling.  Anyone know an artist who would like to take my image of Loralil and make it cover worthy?


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