Yesterday wasn’t a good day. Should have been writing and working on my novella right? Well just didn’t couldn’t get into Harry’s mindset. Was just too positive. So I sat down with a notebook and a pen and did the whole flow of consciousness thing. Now reading back on it it is obvious that I am missing my daughters. When your children grow up and don’t need you anymore you go through stages of grief just like any other loss in your life. I miss my girls. Now I might someday write it all down and even more possible I just might publish it. Books written about actual life to sell but in a way it feels like pandering to my own insecurities to do that. And yeah I have a ton of those.
Like any writer I crave some feedback, some prove that my words are reaching someone. I know that the erotic stuff I wrote has found an audience. Heck a few of those stories have been downloaded over 100,000 times. And my fanfiction seems popular. I am still getting people liking Sins of the Father. I wrote that 15 odd years ago. Why is it that my totally original stuff seems to get ignored? Well gets ignored if I charge for it? I know people downloaded my freebies but did they read them? Almost 200 downloads on the first book and around 150 on the second. Which is nice. But the only review I have had so far is Kaylan’s teacher telling me she wanted more when she borrowed my copy of my paperback.
So the question is should I write nonfiction? I have had a life that would probably make good reading for some but well…doesn’t feel right. I could fictionalize it but we all know how hard relieving memories can be. I have a good life now, even with my occasional deep blue days. I swear if my head would stop the aching I would have an almost perfect life. Okay enough crazy babbling. Anyone know an artist who would like to take my image of Loralil and make it cover worthy?